Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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