I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
