There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
