What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
