I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
