Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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