woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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