I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
