garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
