I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
