Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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