i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
