sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
