okay pat passed out under dana's car
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
