I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
