I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
