your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize