When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
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So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
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Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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