i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
