dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
