Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
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His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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