conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
