I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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