After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
