tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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