Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
