Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
