I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
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The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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