farters have to be the big spoon...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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