No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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