I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
