just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
