my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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