operation harelip BJ is a go
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
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You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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