At least make sure they are 18
Why
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
