I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize