I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
