No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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