I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
