she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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