ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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