I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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