Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
