I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
