Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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