I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And then my night got REAL pukey
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
