And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
