Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
