my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
