Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I smell stomach acid.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Life is so much better after having sex.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
