Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
