We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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