so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
