I accidentally burped into my bong.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize