I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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