Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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