Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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