dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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