It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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