Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
