to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
