Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize