She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
