I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
