her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
