The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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