I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
why do cheetos always look like penises
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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