you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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