dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize